Chris and Cathy's First Time – The way it should have been
by Complete Unknown
Summary: The horrible way Chris and Cathy had sex really bothered me. The book had built up all these tender moments between them, only to lead to a fast and awkward first time. This is the way I believe their first time should have been. I took Christopher's declarations of love from the second book and added them to this scene. It starts out just like the scene in the book.


Something creaked behind me! A soft step on rotting wood! I jumped, startled, scared, and turned, expecting to see—God knows what! Then I sighed, for it was only Chris standing in the gloom, silently staring at me. Why? Did I look prettier than usual? Was it the moonlight, shining through my airy clothes?

All random doubts were cleared when he said in a voice gritty and low, "You look beautiful sitting there like that." He cleared the frog in his throat. "The moonlight is etching you with silver-blue, and I can see the shape of your body through your clothes."

Then, bewilderingly, he seized me by the shoulders, digging in his fingers, hard! They hurt. "Damn you, Cathy! You kissed that man! He could have awakened and seen you, and demanded to know who you were! And not thought you only a part of his dream!"

Scary the way he acted, the fright I felt for no reason at all. "How do you know what I did? You weren't there; you were sick that night."

He shook me, glaring his eyes, and again I thought he seemed a stranger. "He saw you, Cathy—he wasn't soundly asleep!"

"He saw me?" I cried, disbelieving. It wasn't possible .. . wasn't!

"Yes!" he yelled. This was Chris, who was usually in such control of his emotions. "He thought you a part of his dream! But don't you know that Momma can guess who it was, just by putting two and two together—just as I have? Damn you and your romantic notions! Now they're on to us! They won't leave money casually about as they did before. He's counting, she's counting, and we don't have enough—not yet!"

He yanked me down from the window sill! He appeared wild and furious enough to slap my face—and not once in all our lives had he ever struck me, though I'd given him reason to when I was younger.

He let go of my arms. "God damn it Cathy!" He knocked a table over and the twin's toys went flying. "Why did you kiss him? WHY!" I didn't know what to say. I was in shock watching him turn his aggression on the attic. "Chris stop…stop, you'll wake the twins. You'll scare them. Shhh." He didn't seem to hear me. He went on knocking toys and books over in a frantic rage. Our record player hit the floor in a crash along with all our records. Then he knocked over all of his medical books. "Chris, please, please, please stop!" My feet seemed to be glued to the ground. I was really scared now. Not that he would hurt me, but that he had lost his mind. Never had any of us been this loud, ever. If the grandmother heard there would be hell to pay. What would she do to us this time? "Chris stop! If she hears you she'll punish us again."

He screamed at me from across the room. "Let the crazy bitch try. I swear to god if she tries to hurt you again, I'LL KILL HER. I'll bash her brains in. I should have done it years ago. I wasn't tall enough or strong enough last time she whipped us. You'll see Cathy. If she tries to hurt my family again, I WILL kill her!"

I began to cry. Not because he said he would kill our grandmother. She deserved to die a thousand times over, but because he seemed to have gone completely crazy. This wasn't my Chris. He had always been the only person in the world who could help me when I was scared, sick or hurt. If he lost his mind, I'd have no one.

He seemed to be insane with rage. Over three years of suppressed anger suddenly hit him. Through all our hardships he tried to remain positive, to find solutions, to fix everything. He had healed my cuts and bruises when the grandmother had whipped us, he had found ways to keep us alive when she had starved us and he had never gotten this mad. Why would he get this mad over me kissing another man? WHY?

He tore apart the entire room. His medical books, the twin's toys, all of our games and almost everything we had was knocked over. "I'm so sick of this fake garden, this fake schoolroom, this fake dance studio. This FAKE LIFE", he screamed. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I couldn't bear to watch anymore. It was as if he wanted to tear down our prison walls and set us all free. Everything our mother had given to us was meaningless now. Everything we had built so carefully was coming down. Perhaps he was insisting we wouldn't need this attic because we were going to be free soon no matter what.

As I kept my eyes closed and my hands over my ears I could hear glass breaking and him yelling as he vented his frustrations. Then everything stopped and it was quiet. Too quiet! As if the person I needed most in the world had disappeared forever and only emptiness remained. I didn't dare open my eyes. I was afraid of what I would see. Was he still crazy? Had my Christopher lost his mind forever? All I could hear were my own sobs.

Then I felt his arms around me, holding me tightly. I breathed a sigh of relief. I dropped my hands for my ears and held him tightly. "Why did you kiss him Cathy…why?" His voice was still low and shaking. It had a pitch that I had never heard before. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't talk. I was crying to hard. I just held him tighter. His body was still shaking from his outburst. I dropped my head onto his shoulder and cried. Slowly his emotions settled and his hands began to stroke my hair gently. We stayed like that for a while. Just holding each other in the darkness.

"I LOVE you Cathy", he whispered in my ear. My heart skipped a beat. He had said that to me dozens of times but not this way. "You're supposed to only want to kiss me! I'd do anything for you Cathy, ANYTHING! I'll take you and the twins away from hear, where it is warm and sunny. I'll give up my dream of becoming a doctor. I'll work any job I can to take care of you and the twins. We'll be together, just the four of us… forever."

I'm not crying now. My heart is pounding and I can't breathe. His hands begin to rub my back. His fingers are exploring all over my skin. I can't believe this is happening. No! I don't want this. It's wrong. I pull away "Chris no. You don't know what you are saying!" But he pulls me back again. I'm trembling all over. "I know exactly what I'm saying. I watch you at night when you are sleeping and I want to get in bed with you. I dream of the one time I held you naked in my arms and kissed you. I think about it over and over again. I stand in the shadows and watch you dance. I know the shape of your body by heart. I LOVE YOU."

He lifted my head back and pressed his lips down on mine. It is a soft sweet kiss. I can't move or breathe or think. He keeps one arm tightly wrapped around me. His other arm slides to my front and his hand touches my face. His kiss becomes more passionate then it ever had before. All the other times he had kissed me the kisses had been soft and sweet before we had separated and felt shameful. But this kiss was passionate. It scared me and I pulled away a little again. He got a little frustrated by my resistance. He held me as tightly as he could and whispered softly in my ear, "You're mine, Cathy! Mine! You'll always be mine! No matter who comes into your future, you'll always belong to me! I'll make you mine tonight. . . now!" His hand dropped from my face and cupped my breast softly. "Oh Cathy, Cathy, my Cathy," he mutters as his shaking hands reach up to slide off my thin nightgown. The elastic neck stretches over my shoulders and he pulls it down, down, down along with my panties.

Stop, run away, don't let him! My mind is telling me it is wrong but my feet won't move. My eyes are shut out of embarrassment. He's seem me naked before but not like this. I feel the warm attic air all around my skin. "God you're beautiful." He pulls me into his arms and I gasp, not realizing he has also taken off his shirt. His naked skin is against mine. He senses I'm scared so he just holds me in his arms and gently strokes my hair. Then he whispers in my ear, "I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life." I shutter again. I can feel his erection growing larger by the minute. He leans over and whispers softly in my ear. "I'm going to make love to you now my lady Catherine!" I quiver all over and begin to cry a little again. He grins a little because he knows how overwhelmed I feel. He knows exactly what to do and say to make me want him. He knows me better than I know myself. I love him so much. I'd been fighting these desires for so long. My body wants him more than anything, but I can't stop my mind from telling me this is wrong…so very wrong.

My voice is a soft whimper "No Chris we can't…I can't…it's a sin. Don't love me Chris, please...please don't, don't… don't do this… just let me go and forget this happened tonight." My resistance only makes him more determined. He holds me tighter and kisses my neck softly not listening to me. He's trying to make me want him more and more. "Chris… stop! I'm your sister." I struggle to get free, but his arms are too strong. He puts his mouth close to my ear. "No you're not. You're my wife… and those two children sleeping downstairs are ours. That's the way I love you. That is the way I will always love you." I can't believe what he is saying. We are too young to feel so intensely. All these years locked up together have robbed us of our childhood.

His hands caress my breasts as his lips kiss my neck. Then he takes my hands and puts them on his belt buckle. "Please Cathy… please, please, please", he moans in my ear. My hands shake as I open his belt buckle, and his pants. He moans with delight as he slides one of my hands inside his underwear. Oh god it's so big and hard! I can't possibly take all that into me I think as I grip it softly. He gasps and moans, "Oh god I love you." Then he quickly removes the rest of his cloths and holds me. We are both naked. I tremble as he presses himself against me.

Then he urges me to walk backwards and I land on the mattress. He is on top of me in an instant. He is so turned on I think he is going to just take me then and there. But he doesn't rush. He kisses me again. This time he parts my lips with his _tongue_ and kisses me more passionately then ever before. Then he brushes soft kisses down my neck and kisses my breasts softly. He lingers there so long kissing them as if he has wanted to do so forever. I gasp for air. My eyes are closed. I can't believe this is happening! Then he moves upward to kiss my lips again. This time he is lying slightly on his side next to me. His hand strokes my cheek and then runs down over my breasts and then lower over my flat stomach and down, down, down until his finger is inside of me. "Oh god…Chris…oh my god," I mutter. I can't believe how good it feels. "Oh Cathy I want you so badly", he whispers in my ear as he moves his finger gently inside of me. "Look at me Cathy…please… look at me." My eyes are shut. They have been this whole time. I'm afraid to look at him…embarrassed…overwhelmed. Our eyes meet. Oh god those blue eyes of his! They stare into mine with so much love as he gives me my first orgasm. Then he pulls his finger away and he can't wait another second. I feel the tip of his penis rubbing against the outside of my vagina. He rubs it on the outside a few times. Teasing me. Making me want him as much as he wants me. "I'm going to make love to you now my lady Catherine" he says again playfully. I shutter. He pushes inside of me slowly but does not enter all the way. I gasp "Oh my god…Chris." It hurts a little. He pulls out and then slides in again, this time a little further, but still not all the way. He pulls out again. "Oh my god" I cry out as he slides into me fully as my hymen breaks and bleeds. I whimper in pain for a moment. "Shhhhh, I love you", he whispers in my ear and holds completely still for a moment before he starts to move gently inside of me. Oh god it hurt for a moment or two and then the pain disappeared. His pace was so slow. "Oh Cathy, Cathy, Cathy. My Cathy, how I love you" he whispered. "Oh Chris" I cried holding him tighter against me. He cried out "Cathy please…please tell me you love me." I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I love you Chris." He got so excited his pace quickened a little and then I had a soft and sweet orgasm. Then his passion built and he had to have me fully. He pulled out all the way so we could switch positions. I had a moment of doubt and fear. Oh god was this a sin? Would we go to hell? I was still on my back. Chris took my legs and brought them up so they bent over his shoulders. "Trust me", he said before he tried to enter me again. "What if this is wrong", I asked weakly. "Then try not to have an orgasm" he said playfully before he entered me again. He knew he had me exactly where he wanted me. I really cried out this time. Oh god this was intense. How did he know how to do this? Every thrust gave me an orgasm. My arms dropped down onto the mattress. He grabbed my wrists and he thrust into me hard and fast over and over again. "You're mine, Cathy! Mine! You'll always be mine!" I felt his desire build and I knew he was going to ejaculate. He let go of my wrists and I held him against me as tightly as I could. I felt his passion growing and growing and it was bringing me closer and closer to an orgasm. I'd already had many, but this one would be different because he'd have one too. "Oh how I love you Cathy", he cried. I held onto him as tightly as I could, but he pulled out of me and ejaculated on the mattress next to me, denying me that last big orgasm. When it was over he looked at me and said "We have to be careful Cathy."

We held each other tightly afterwards. How could my first time have been so good? When we were in school years ago we would hear rumors of older kids. Our friend's older siblings and how they had "done it" and how it had been awkward and awful. How could this have been so right? "How did you know how to do all of that so well", I asked. He smiled and said, "I've been reading a lot about needlepoint designs." We both giggled. It seemed strange that we were still the same two people.

"I have to go check on the twins", he said getting up and quickly putting his pants on. We both suddenly felt worried that they might have heard and now they would be scared or confused.

When he was gone I cried a little. I was scared. Oh what had we done? Would we go to hell now? How could something so wonderful be so wrong? I curled up on my side feeling worried and exposed naked and alone in the attic. He came rushing back to me with a blanket and pillow. He assured me the twins were sleeping soundly and that he had barricaded the door incase the grandmother tried to get in while we were away.

He covered me with the blanket, took is pants back off and then curled up next to me naked and held me. He knew exactly what I was thinking. He knew me better then I knew myself. "Cathy, this isn't wrong. It will never be wrong. If it is a sin, then hell would be heaven with you." I closed my eyes and slept in his arms. We'd wake before dawn to sneak downstairs and get in our different beds so the twins wouldn't suspect anything.


End file.
